Gushing. 18th Birthday Prayer. (May 09, 2009)

i am thankful to You Lord that You've allowed me to be able to live another year for You, to be an instrument to bring glory to Your name. Indeed Jesus, i am amazed once again of Your unfailing love for me. Sitting here, looking at the vast expanse of the sky and the sun that has come out ready to radiate those that needs it in this world. Sitting here, i marvel at Your creations and how You've blessed me with it. Lord Father, it is the uttermost cry of this heart of mine that i may truly love You more and more. Above all else, above my parents, my shoti, my shobe, above my friends, anime, money, above anything in this world! A heart that can truly say "i love You" not because of everything that you've done in my life but to love You for who You are and because You first loved me. My King, my Father, my Savior, my Groom, it is with much joy having the realization that You have never left my side. When it seems i'm thousands of light years away, You have never ceased to show me Your love even when i'm not fully aware of You, even when i didn't really notice You. Father please grant me a pure heart, Jesus purify me with Your unfailing love and with full realization of Your amazing grace. You have found me in the deepest and You have reached down with eyes surging with infinite love that comes not only from a Father but also of that a Lover. What does true love truly mean? It is far above what this world  has ever known, far far above silly crushes and puppy loves.. And now i've come to the age of 18, i pray Jesus that only You and You alone would hold this heart of mine until that day when You have planned for me to be sought by that person You've ordained me to be with. Even then i would not stop loving You but all the more shower You with worship and praise. Even when You've led me to that person, You would still be my First Love, You would still hold my heart. Whatever it is Lord i have to offer, please take it. Take me. My life is irrevocably Yours. Forever Yours, for it was never mine to begin with. To have you as my First Love is the greatest joy. To know that You have loved me far beyond what love i could give. My Lord, i know that my love is made love because of Your all-surpassing love. For it is through Your great love that my love for You is made alive. Jesus please bestow upon me that desperation for You. A heart desperate to know You, to be deeply rooted and grounded in Your Word. To be able to glorify Your name in more ways that one. Jesus, to have that deep longing for You and only You. Nothing in this world can satisfy this hunger nor quench this thirst  but You alone. Lord God may i continue to bring honor to Your name , may it be glorified in my life above all else. i acknowledge God and i am nothing and can do nothing without Your grace and love. Lord, take this life. it's Yours. As i start my life as 18, i want to try my best to live for You and to be a good steward of You word. Help me and enable me to share and profess Your great love and sacrifice to Christians and nonbelievers alike, with full confidence and courage, proud to be Yours. With all masks unveiled, You have searched, tested and known my heart. Help me Jesus to throw these masks away and put on Your full armor. Jesus i know i'm not alone for You are with me, always, forever. i exalt You Jesus, everything is in Your hands. i submit to Your good and perfect will. i don't want to run my life without You, i freely give You full reign of it. oh Lord, i lay my life down at Your feet. i acknowledge Jesus that You are all i need, and that You are more than enough for me. God, it is a privilege, an honor to be found in You, learn from You and to experience True Love in Your arms. Jesus, my only wish for my 18th birthday is to be able to love with sincerity. not emotion-driven but Spirit-driven. Taking please in bringing You praise and worship. Indeed Lord, You hold this life and i wouldn't have it any other way. May this heart beat for You, to be a woman after Your own heart. I know oh God that i still under construction, i still have a long way ahead of me. i can't help but have this fear and uncertainty in my heart. But i rejoice oh Lord that Your perfect love casts out fear. Whatever happens from now on is all in Your control. I rejoice knowing that i belong to a sovereign and good God. Forgive me oh Lord that at times i forget about Your love, at times that i take You for granted. Lord i submit my life to You. Have Your way. Search my heart, test my heart, know my heart. If purifying me means putting me through the fire, then please do so oh Lord. If it is so that i will grow and mature in my walk with You then i am all for it! It may be hard, with pain and tribulations on the way but i know You are there with me every step of the way and that i have full confidence that You are faithful. When You are with me, who or what can i fear? Yes Lord, break me if You must. If its the only way to make me to love You more then i surrender to You. I pray i'd continue to gush about You and Your love Jesus, everyday in each and every way. Full dependence on You Lord, not relying on my own strength or my own human efforts. i will draw strength from You, for You are my firm foundation, the Solid Rock on which i stand. May my life reflect You will, may my life song sing for You and may Your truth, grace and love be evident in my life. i love You Lord with all the love You've poured out on me. i love YOU. I LOVE YOU! Only with You love will this love of mine be sustained. Praise You and everything that You are. I rejoice in the truth that You forever are mine and i am forever Yours. 

- MyMy

  May 09, 2009, 4:58 AM

  

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*These words poured out while i was sitting on our roof top on the day of my birthday. We were at our rest house in the mountains. It was early morning and was cold, but it wasn't strong enough to influence the warmth and giddiness i had inside that morning as i poured out my heart to Him. There's still more of what i penned down but i think i should end here since they're already too personal.